The Walking Dead: Cleveland Indians Edition
If The Walking Dead’s Zombie Apocalypse Broke Out, What Roles Would Current Indians Fill?
There are a lot of things to worry about in the world today. Who your kids associate with, how you’re going to make your next rent or mortgage payment, and even random acts of terrorism. But let’s be honest with ourselves. There is only one real problem that people should be spending 96% of their time worrying about. Yep, you guessed right.
The zombie apocalypse.
When the world inevitably goes to hell, you need to have a plan. For many, that means taking the lessons learned from AMC’s The Walking Dead and applying them to their new way of life. Admit it. At some point you’ve thought about what you would do when walkers are roaming the face of the planet.
That got me thinking (judging by the content of this article so far, you’re probably a bit concerned), what roles would the Indians fill in the zombie apocalypse? With that in mind, I went about comparing the current roster to the cast of characters that have graced the show thus far. It wasn’t easy, but the comparisons are a bit uncanny.
So, without further ado, here is The Walking Dead version of the Cleveland Indians.
Sep 21, 2014; Minneapolis, MN, USA; Cleveland Indians manager Terry Francona in the dugout against the Minnesota Twins at Target Field. Mandatory Credit: Brad Rempel-USA TODAY Sports
10. Dale Horvath – Jason Giambi
In the first two seasons of the walking dead, Dale served as the elder statesman of the group. With his advanced age came wisdom and the voice of reason. While the world was going to $—, he didn’t let it take him down with it. If that meant taking an unpopular stance in order to save the group’s humanity, then so be it. That’s the role filled by Jason Giambi over the past two seasons.
As the verteran presence in the clubhouse, Giambi has served as a source of wisdom for the younger and far less experienced member of the Indians. And, much like Dale, a lot of people couldn’t stand him. Fans felt as if Giambi were wasting a roster spot. Well both problems were eventually solved. Dale got his stomach torn open by a walker and died. Giambi finally retired after 20 seasons. Although, it is entirely possible his prolonged DL stint last year was due to a similar injury.
9. Hershel Greene – Terry Francona
Speaking of Hershel, is there any doubt that Terry Francona would make the perfect, real life Hershel? As a vet/family man/religious leader turned medical doctor/adopted father/voice of reason, Hershel often times had to make the best of the situations he was handed while imparting words of wisdom in much the same way as Dale. Only it was slightly less annoying and garnered respect. While Dale’s death was seen as a “finally” moment, Hershel’s beheading at the hands of The Governor was shocking.
Can’t much of the same be said for Francona? He has pieced together a winner in each of his first two seasons in Cleveland while not being expected to do so. How he’s done the things he has done is nothing short of a miracle. What can’t be questioned is the respect and admiration he receives from his players. Can he work his magic for the third straight season? Let’s just hope he doesn’t lose his head in the process.
Sep 21, 2014; Minneapolis, MN, USA; Cleveland Indians catcher Yan Gomes (10) in the on deck cirlce against the Minnesota Twins at Target Field. Mandatory Credit: Brad Rempel-USA TODAY Sports
8. Abraham Ford – Brandon Moss
As a relatively new character to the show, there is still a lot of mystery surrounding Abraham Ford. Will his character evolve into a leader and valued member of the team? Or, is he simply biding his time before the world turns on him and he is handed a grisly death at the hands of a walker? Only time will tell the ultimate fate of Abraham.
The same can be said for one of the newest members of the Cleveland Indians, Brandon Moss. Will Moss evolve into a key piece of what could be a very potent offensive attack? Or, will he crash and burn early on in the season? We just don’t know at this point. There is a lot to like about Moss. He’s a power hitter in a lineup void of power hitters and has a proven track record of success during his time in Oakland. Much like Abraham, I would bet on Brandon Moss sticking around for most of the season.
7. Shane Walsh – Yan Gomes
Shane was a valuable member of the group before his hot headedness got the best of him and he was driven crazy with jealousy for Rick. Their conflict served as the primary plot point during the first two seasons of the walking dead. He was the ying to Rick’s proverbial yang. When Rick returned seemingly from the dead, Shane couldn’t handle things and often turned to his gun to solve problems.
You know who else likes to use his gun to solve problems? Yan Gomes. The Yanimal has a cannon for an arm and he knows it. That cockiness often got him into trouble in 2014. Gomes took unnecessary risks trying to throw out would be base stealers. Can the Indians get him under control in 2015? Can he serve as the wing man to each and every member of the starting rotation? We’ll find out.
Sep 14, 2014; Detroit, MI, USA; Cleveland Indians first baseman Carlos Santana (41) hits an RBI double in the ninth inning against the Detroit Tigers at Comerica Park. Detroit won 4-6. Mandatory Credit: Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports
6. Tyreese – Jason Kipnis
Everyone loved Tyreese. He was big and burly and seemed to be able to destroy any and all walkers… or even Rick. That was until he lost his edge, softened up, and ultimately (SPOILER ALERT!) lost his life when he let his guard down and was bitten by a walker. He was never the same after that… mainly because he had his arm cut off and died later on in the same episode as a result of said bite. It was sad, and tragic, and all sorts of disappointing.
Jason Kipnis shares a lot of these same characteristics. After a spectacular 2013 season, he became a fan favorite. After bulking up in the offseason to develop more power and growing a beard to hide what might have been a double chin, Kipnis struggled through an injury riddled 2014. He’s basically at the same point as Tyreese after that bite. Will he recover and be better than he was before the injuries, or will his career crash and burn, turning him into a rotting corpse of what he once was? I’m hoping for the former, but the jury is still out.
5. Glenn Rhee – Carlos Santana
You know is truly under appreciated on The Walking Dead? Glenn, that’s who. Maggie even points out as much to him during season two. As the show progresses it becomes clear just how valuable Glenn is to the group even if they don’t always realizes or vocalize it. Need a run into town? Ask Glenn. Need someone to go into a well? Glenn’s got it. And I mean, he also scored Maggie so he has to be doing something right.
In terms of underappreciated Indians, that honor can clearly be bestowed upon Carlos Santana. Fans don’t truly appreciate just how well-rounded at the plate and versatile in the field he can be. Santana can hit for power and get on base at an exceptionally high rate, .367 lifetime OBP. In the field he can catch and play both corner infield positions if need be. He could probably even man an outfield spot if asked. All that’s really left is for him to get Lauren Cohan’s phone number.
Sep 24, 2014; Cleveland, OH, USA; Cleveland Indians left fielder Michael Brantley (23) singles in the first inning against the Kansas City Royals at Progressive Field. Mandatory Credit: David Richard-USA TODAY Sports
4. Michonne – Cody Allen
And for the first and only female on the list, we have Andrea! Just kidding. Andrea was the worst. Instead, we have Michonne. She’s become the rock of the group and the person everyone else has come to rely on when things get out of hand. Walkers start circling and she just whips out her katana and starts slicing off heads. It’s like she’s the closer for the show’s rag-tag group of survivors.
Sound familiar? Well, it should because it’s the same role currently filled by Cody Allen on the Indians. When things get out of hand, he’s there to save the day. His Katana? One of the best fastballs in baseball. He is slated to be the Tribe’s closer come opening day and has earned that opportunity after his phenomenal performance in the role in 2014.
3. Daryl Dixon – Michael Brantley
Daryl is without a doubt the coolest character on The Walking Dead. He rides a motor cycle, has expert tracking skills, and uses a cross-bow to slay walkers. Seriously, a cross-bow. As a character created for the television show and absent from the comic series, he has gained a following that could not have been anticipated when the first season of the show aired. Over time, thanks to steady performances year in and year out, Daryl has become a star.
You know who else has turned in steady performances year in and year out and has finally reached a star level? Michael Brantley, that’s who. All Brantley did in 2014 was make his first all-star team, throw up a .327/.385/.506 slash line with 20 homers and 97 RBI, and finish third in the AL MVP voting. If Brantley ever needed to mow down an unruly gang of walkers, I bet he’d even use a cross-bow.
Sep 16, 2014; Houston, TX, USA; Cleveland Indians starting pitcher Corey Kluber (28) pitches during the second inning against the Houston Astros at Minute Maid Park. Mandatory Credit: Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports
2. Carl Grimes – Lonnie Chisenhall
Through the years we have watched Carl gradually develop from a doe-eyed, soft, little boy into a legitimate bad ass. Did anyone actually see that one coming? The kid who once ran from walkers and didn’t want to hold a gun is probably two seasons away from trying to contest his father for leadership of the group. Carl has proven over time that he can take care of himself. The future looks bright as he continues on that path over the next few seasons.
Meanwhile, Lonnie Chisenhall was at one time a top prospect who couldn’t quite put it together. But, after a breakout season in 2014, Chisenhall appears to have locked up the every day job as the team’s starting third baseman. The development has been unreal. If this keeps up, he might be vying for leadership of the team in about two seasons. He really is the Carl Grimes of the Cleveland Indians.
1. Rick Grimes – Corey Kluber
Rick is the unquestioned leader of the group. He is the rock, the one everybody else turns to when decisions need to be made. When the group needs him, he is always there. Originally, it wasn’t clear if Rick would have what it takes to lead the survivors in a post apocalyptic world, but due to circumstances beyond his control he grew into the role. He’s ruthless and possibly a cold-blooded killer. I mean, he ripped a guy’s throat out with his teeth. He’s a bad ass.
Corey Kluber is without a shadow of a doubt the Rick Grimes of the Cleveland Indians. He is their leader heading into the 2015 season. So goes Corey Kluber; so goes the Cleveland Indians. In 2014 Kluber proved that when the team needed him to come through, he could do it. His arsenal of pitches is filthy. He’s a cold-blooded killer of major league hitters, but it wasn’t always like that. Prior to last season, Kluber had shown glimpses, but there had been far more bad than good. The he won the Cy Young award and the narrative changed. Corey Kluber, lead the way.