The Cleveland Indians Should Hit More Home Runs

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Mar 25, 2014; Bradenton, FL, USA; A member of the maintenance crew uses a leaf blower to dry spots in the outfield after a brief downpour before the start of the spring training exhibition game between the Pittsburgh Pirates and Toronto Blue Jays at McKechnie Field. Mandatory Credit: Jonathan Dyer-USA TODAY Sports

Homers also make the opposing players in the field more bored. They don’t get to do anything if the Tribe keeps going yard again and again, and that gets them off their game. If you have a lot of time to kill your mind will wander somewhere. Even if you’re taking Adderall. Heck, with enough amphetamines you’d probably end up weaving a carpet out of the grass in the outfield or making a to scale version of the Nazca Lines by third base. They’d be so tied up in other activities any balls that somehow don’t make its way to the bleachers have a better chance to land for a hit. But that’s fine too- it simply means more baserunners for the inevitable big fly. 

A bored, distracted mind will also suffer on offense when facing the dynamic Cleveland pitching staff. This is a group that set the record for most strikeouts in a season last year with 1,450. I’d assume they’ll expand on that this year and go for the “Strike Out Every Batter” method. It has a chance to be very successful, especially when coupled with this new offensive approach. Opponents would be frustrated at the plate, on the mound or in the field and probably afterward at their hotel when they can’t get the soap they like and their pores clog up. Earning a title in Cleveland takes the whole city. 

The biggest downside to everyone on the team hitting more homers is that players will just be more expensive, sooner and that’s bad news for the tiny-pursed Tribe. It’s not just chicks that dig the long ball, everyone loves to watch a massive parabolic arc streaking through the summer sky. With the Indians committing to hitting more and all other things being equal, we’d  be dealing with five or six MVP candidates on the team. Nelson Cruz hit 40 last year and got the fattest of contracts  from Seattle.

Next: Let Thy Home Run Be Thy Medicine